Can I handle that?

So after a week of crying and realising my ex wasn't coming back, my tears turned to anger..if he didn't want me then I'd find someone who did.
Now I know what you're thinking...after a 13 year relationship I was a bit quick to start looking, and you'd be right. But I was single for the first time in years and didn't know how to handle it. I wanted a man.
Looking back now I can see I was being stupid, sluttish, desperate and at times unsafe...but I went headlong into internet dating and had some weird and wonderful experiences.

So being a big single girl was going to be a challenge. I knew I was going to have to go about this in a slightly different way to all the slim/average sized women out there. I wasn't down about myself, I had a fairly pretty face, HUGE boobs (44HH) and I loved giving head....not that I put that last bit on my dating profiles.

I joined my first dating site exactly a week after my ex had left me. It was a site for larger ladies and their admirers. Now I know that might sound a bit fetish like but not all men were like that. Yes there were some feeders on there and a couple that wanted to be sat on, but the majority just preferred a bit of meat on their women or liked women in general whether they be slim, average or large.

I loved that site. I enjoyed recieving the "kisses" and the messages. Hearing that someone thought I was attractive was a huge confidence boost.
I soon got chatting to this guy, daren't say his name as it's far too unusual. He'd noticed in my profile that I'd put my type of man down as Robbie Williams/Gerard Butler/Joshua Jackson lookalikies. He was a 6ft 5inch black man and wanted to know if that would put me off. Hmmmmm, my 3rd lover had been mixed race and I had only ever snogged one other black guy....I wasn't at all racist but just hadn't mixed with or met many black guys. So I told him it wasn't an issue and we carried on messaging each other. The subject of sex soon came up, he's send emails telling me he wanted to fuck my pretty face...I was loving it. It was all so dirty and thrilling. After chatting on the phone a few times we arranged for him to come and stay overnight at mine. He travelled from London and I met him off the bus. We went up in the lift to get my car and as soon as the doors closed we started kissing. His hands all over my body. He was gorgeous, a real smooth talker and had a wicked smile.
We drove back to my place, his hand rubbing my thigh the whole time. We both knew what was going to happen. We walked in and I showed him around. We got to the bedroom and started kissing again. He was so strong and I felt so wanted being held in those huge arms. His hands were up inside my top, he was inside my bra, his hands cupping my heavy breasts. I couldn't believe this was happening, it seemed surreal. I took off his T shirt, he was muscular and broad. I'd never seen a body like it. I unzipped his jeans and in went my hand, searching for his cock.......it was huge. I wanted it in my mouth so much. I pulled down his jeans and dropped to my knees. Looking up at him, I took him in my mouth and realised there was no way this baby was going down the back of my throat, it was just too thick. Don't get me wrong, a big cock is nice but if it's too big you just can't get it all in, lol.
Soon we were on my bed. He was on top of me and all I could think was that he was too big to fit inside me. No such problem...I was so wet that it wasn't an issue. He started slowly, enjoying watching me gasp in pleasure. He knew I liked having my hair pulled, so as we carried on and he was thrusting harder, he began grabbing my hair and calling me a slut......that's when I came. It felt incredible. My whole body was shuddering. He carried on and I loved the feeling of being his toy, him using me and fucking me until he came.

Later that day, as we were relaxing on the sofa, I couldn't resist and started touching his cock...I needed more of it. I put on a porno and told him to watch it while I licked his balls and sucked that beautiful cock. He was soon ready to cum but instead he bent me over the sofa and started fingering me and got me to suck his fingers clean. It was such a turn on. He started fucking me as I rubbed my clit. I was making so much noise that my neighbours must have known what was going on. I told him I wanted him to let me know when he was close........and as he was about to cum, I made sure I was in the perfect position to have all that hot cum dripping down my face. It was amazing.

He left the next day. We had sex 2 more times before he went, neither of which I can really remember. We arranged for me to go and visit him in a few weeks time and I did (more of that later). He was my 5th lover.

I was fast becoming used to this internet lark. A guy would message me, I'd get his MSN addy and we'd chat for a while. Then the subject would turn to sex. Men seemed fascinated with my boobs and would ask me to show them off on camera. Seeing their eyes nearly pop out their heads was a turn on. Watching them playing with their cocks as I touched myself...I was a slutty cam girl and it was a complete giggle. I remember at one point chatting to 3 different guys on msn, all in seperate windows. None knowing about the other and all 3 had their cocks in their hands as I stripped on camera for them. Stroking my boobs, licking my nipples and generally making some filthy comments...they all came one by one. I turned off the camera and laughed so hard.

Jason messaged me, he seemed a little shy at first. He was very sweet, a bit too skinny for my liking but was polite and we just chatted for a while. After a week or so he told me he liked to watch women getting ready (make up, hair etc). So one night I had my shower and brought all my creams, make up, hairdryer etc downstairs and logged into msn. He came online and on went our cams. I went about my routine as if I were going out for the night and he watched intently as I got myself ready. I glanced up at one point and saw he'd got a bit excited about this and was rubbing himself. I told him to get it out and watched him wank all over himself....another satisfied customer,lol.
He asked if we could meet. We arranged for him to come to mine one night and he was going to cook for me. He arrived and he was tiny. This guy was about 4 inches shorter than me and had the body of a boy. I was polite, we had a lovely meal and although a bit up his own backside he was a generally nice guy. Halfway through dinner he stopped eating, took a sip of his wine and kissed me. Ooookay, what should I do here? I didn't fancy him in any way but he was sweet and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. It was that night that I discovered it didn't matter if I fancied a bloke or not, I just loved sucking cock.
We went up to bed and he was sooooo excited I thought he was going to burst. He was all over me and he had a nice cock, long but a little on the skinny side.He lay flat on his back and I went down to investigate this new cock. I made him make some fantastic noises. He soon came and I got it dripping all over my lips...he was panting so hard I thought he was having a panic attack. After about half an hour of him licking my pussy  he was hinting at sex but I just couldn't. I told him I didn't go all the way on a first date (what a liar) and we settled down to sleep. About 3 hours later I woke to feel this digging in my back....he wanted another blow job. I dutifully obliged and sent him back off to sleep. In the morning he was full of excited talk about future dates together but I knew I wouldn't see him again, he just did nothing for me. I emailed him a few days later explaining that it wouldn't work and wishing him luck and we've never been in touch again.

Another week or so followed and it was time for me to take my trip to London to see the previous guy again. Filthy texts were exchanged during the train journey and by the time I got there my pussy was dripping.
He had a housemate and there were lots of guys hanging around there too. We disappeared into the bedroom and got straight to it. nothing too amazing but I was my usual noisy self....much to the delight of the other guys in the flat. While lying together in bed he asked me about any fantasies I had. I loved the idea of having lots of men at the same time and he told me he could make it happen if I wanted to. I thought about it for a minute....the men were in the flat, all it would take was a nod from me and I'd be surrounded by big black guys all ready to fuck me...but I said no. Sometimes I wish I'd just said yes...it'd be brilliant for my wank bank, lol.